Our classes are complete! Well technically they've been done since the first part of February but I haven't been so great about keeping things updated. :)
The first class was an introduction to the process and after being there for a bit we soon began to realize that the majority of the night would be focused on foster parenting. After a brief show of hands, it seemed the majority of people there were interested in adoption but the direction of the introduction (and future classes) would be foster parenting. We were hoping for a little more focus on adoption (or at least a little more balance between the two) but it seems their biggest need is foster parents and so that's where they direct the information.
The first class included a panel of folks who came from different perspectives of the adoption/foster process. There was a married couple with biological children of their own who have been foster parents for a number of years. There was an older widow with her own grown children who had worked in the area of child welfare for many years and was a foster mom. And there was a young family who had a biological son, had adopted a son and were now foster parents primarily for infants in the system. The panel was lead by a DHS worker who asked them questions like what kinds of kids they took in, how they got started, why they are foster/adoptive parents, what their relationships with their case workers were like, how had their view of the system changed as time went on, etc. It was interesting but we only got brief glimpses into the adoption process which again, is what we were there for. Jen was glad she'd brought her notebook because there was much note passing and doodling to be done! :)
The subsequent classes were equally as long and as focused on foster parenting. Each session was taught by a different DHS professional as their experience related to the topic at hand. They dealt with therapy, abuse in its many forms, settling kids into the foster/adoptive parent home environment, domestic violence, and how to respect and honor the unique heritages and backgrounds of the kids who are placed in your home. They talked about emotional ages vs. physical ages of kids and how to deal with behavior and emotional issues. Jen having a degree in Health Promotion and a background working with kids and with my degree in Women's Studies, most of the material was pretty familiar and things we'd seen from one class or the other. We knew what the expect but it doesn't make the material and real life situations we heard about easier to swallow.
Honestly, the hardest thing to deal with in the classes were the other people there. It was actually kind of frightening that some of them wanted to be foster or adoptive parents. They didn't understand the most common sense ideas, asked unbelievable questions, and didn't pay attention. One woman in particular consistently asked questions that had literally just been answered or on information that had just been addressed. It got to the point where the minute she raised her hand, heads all over the room went back and you could sometimes hear quiet groans of exasperation from the other people in the class. Even the instructors seemed frustrated by her! It was a wonder some of the people there managed to get themselves to class, let alone be responsible for another human being! Maybe that's one of the things the background process weeds out...
Our last class we got our packet...the thing we'd been most wanting since we walked in the door the first night! Not that we were looking forward to the pages and pages and pages of personal information required of us in triplicate but we were excited! Being handed that packet felt like we were finally on our way to being parents. One more step in the adventure. :)
Now we're working on getting all the information together and just waiting. We have to wait to be paired up with a case worker and have a home visit scheduled. We've been told it can take a while to get the home visit scheduled because of how busy the case workers are. In the mean time, we're working on all the things required to make our home okay and safe. We don't have a lot of patience but we're doing the best we can. :) We know there are reasons for the processes and that it will be worth the wait!
